In the end, though, I decided to play it safe and get the straight-up Egg and Cheese Bagel. Here’s what it looked like:

That glistening you see on top of the bagel, and the pale yellow mush on the inside, is butter. Lots and lots of butter. Only by thinking of my duty to you, dear reader, could I choke down the whole thing.

Here’s the humble sign. It’d look more at home in the Tenderloin, I think:

Also the baristas were super friendly.

I wasn’t disappointed by this egg sandwich with bacon, served on an English muffin:

Sorry about the photo quality, the sun streaming in the windows made for nice ambience but my iPhone camera couldn’t cope with the dynamic range.

This probably isn’t what the chef was going for, but the combination of lettuce, tomatoes, and savory juiciness reminded me of an In-N-Out grilled cheese sandwich. The eggs were perfectly over medium, just the way I like them, and it coated the whole sandwich in deliciousness. Definitely made this a fork-and-knife affair toward the end, but I didn’t mind:

Half-eaten sandwich

Also, thanks Mission Beach Cafe for serving your delicious brunch on weekdays so I didn’t have to brave the weekend brunch line.

Oh, and that sign! Gorgeous:

Photo (cc) Tychay, Flickr

Meanwhile we talked about a breakfast sandwich dilemma: one egg or two eggs? With a nice thick bagel, you naturally want two eggs to achieve the right bread-to-filling ratio. On the other hand, it can be a bit awkward to fit two eggs into a sandwich unless you go open face.

Anyway, this one was delicious and bonus points for plating.

This time there was a new guy who over-toasted my breakfast sandwich a bit. But it was still delicious. Here’s a pic for the official record:

The firm, dry, and slightly crispy focaccia was a perfect counterpoint to the juicy eggs and ham. And the seasoning on the focaccia made the whole thing nice and aromatic. Well done, Momi Toby, if that’s your real name.

Speaking of which, why does this place have so many names and so much branding? I present to you exhibits A, B, and C:

Exhibit A: “Cafe/Art Bar” sign with pig logo

Exhibit B: Vintage “T” pub sign. Does the “T” stand for Toby?

Exhibit C: Frosted logo on window

Branding aside, this place gets huge bonus points for being a really pleasant environment in which to hang out for a few hours and read a book. And good coffee too. How can you go wrong?

It reminds me of when I was a kid and my parents would make hot dogs or hamburgers but they didn’t have the right kind of buns so they’d just use two slices of bread, or even worse, one slice wrapped around the hot dog taco-style.

First-world problems. Sigh.

Oh by the way, check out that coffee in a bowl. I know this is sort of a thing at French cafes, but it seems like in France people would think of this as a gluttonous American thing. Anyway it sort of makes me think of dogs which is both good and bad.

Oh, here are some pictures documenting the signage and the bright green façade, and my journey from the cafe to the park where I finished my coffee:

As you probably know, a few months ago KFC introduced their Double Down Sandwich which is a bacon sandwich with chicken instead of bread. Bold move.

But Friendly’s has just done them one better. Behold the Grilled Cheese BurgerMelt:

No, your eyes aren’t deceiving you—this is such a hardcore, alpha male sandwich it uses other sandwiches as bread. My mind: blown.

Let’s see how KFC will respond. This is shaping up to be the most exciting thing since the shaving arms race of 1998–2004.

Let’s take a closer look at that ham:

Ham!!! Also look at this Vegas-sized cup of coffee:

Also I know I would have some very disappointed readers if I didn’t include a picture of the Aria sign:

I promise there’s a sign there, but you might need to click through to see it. The breezy handwritten logo might look great in Adobe Illustrator but “breezy” doesn’t really cut it when you’re talking about twenty-foot letters on the side of a building. I give it two and a half stars.

But apparently fate had other plans for me, because they were out of bagels! This never happens! Anyway I ordered a Breakfast Croissant instead and it was delicious:

From this angle it almost looks like a thin bagel!

That’s right—I went out for a bagel and ended up getting a croissant instead. Welcome to my roller-coaster life.

PS: The Maxfield’s sign, hand painted in red block letters on high windows, warms my heart every time I see it. I think Maxfield’s must have been a 1950s vacuum repair shop in a past life. Here’s a picture from inside:

Maybe that’s why I had high expectations of the Mexican Breakfast Sandwich at Alexis Baking Company in Napa. Or maybe it’s because the menu advertised that it was served on cornbread, which I (usually) love. Here’s what it looked like:

(Sandwich: Alexis Baking Company. Sunglasses: Oliver Peoples)

In any case, I was disappointed. The sandwich was uniformly squishy. The cornbread was more like a corn-flavored hamburger bun. The scrambled eggs in the middle put up no resistance, and neither did the large slice of ancho chile.

So there it is folks, hopefully breakfast sandwich #2 will be more satisfying. Maybe I’ll go check out Maxfield’s, it never disappoints.

Oh yeah here’s a photo of the sign, courtesy of glennhuang on Flickr:

(I forgot to take my own sign picture. I promise to try harder in the future.) The painted logo looked right at home on the front of ABC’s warehouselike building in a tree-lined, unchic block of downtown Napa. OK, the big handwritten “Cafe” is over the top, but in general the sign made me think about checkered tablecloths, small town America, and bakers in toques toiling over some bread dough. And of other cafes I’ve enjoyed in similar buildings in Sacramento and Austin.

Speaking of signs, the men’s and women’s bathrooms were dubiously indicated with pictures of a donut and an eclair, respectively. Remember kids, just say no to clever bathroom signs.